Sunday, January 16, 2011

Allow Us to Introduce Ourselves…

We are a lesbian couple living and loving – like any other monogamous couple.  We’ll call ourselves Ari and Jay to protect the not so innocent and to keep our lives just a little private.  Why the veil of secrecy?   Well, we plan on really going in on our lives, letting out some juicy details and giving our readers a glimpse inside our lives.  Since we want to give this blog as much authenticity as possible, it’s important that in our private lives – we can be just that, private.
With that cleared up – let’s get into who we really are.  We are highly educated African American lesbians.  I’m Ari and I have a Master’s in Communication and I’ve been working in the entertainment industry since I was 15.  I’m almost 32 and I’m new to my true lezbeyond-self.  I dated men my whole life – until I broke up with the man I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with.  We were together for more than 10 years, marriage and kids never happened and I always wondered how I am going to stay in this and never explore the side of myself that likes women?  Enter post breakup.  That’s when I met Jay.  She casually stopped by my page without so much as a “Hi.”  Her picture was so fly and when I read her qualities and profile, I knew I had to talk to her.  We started emailing and within a few days – we were hooked.  We’ll get more into our relationship and the details of all we do as the blog grows. 
We had to start Lezbeyond because we just couldn’t relate to anything else we saw online or in mainstream media.  Let’s face it, gay men have defined themselves and broken through the LGBT movement in ways we women have yet to approach.  We also had to let the world know that there are Black lesbians – yeah, we exist – and we’re very diverse.  Femmes, aggressive, aggressive femmes, studs, undercovers, married, single, monogamous – etc.  We represent one couple and we invite other lesbians, no matter your race, to chime in and help us school the world on all things lesbian and beyond. As for me, Ari, I am a femme to the core.  There is not a tomboy bone in my body.  I love sexy women with a feminine edge.  I love a woman who’s got an aggressive side but when you look at her face all you see if pretty.  That’s where Jay comes in.
I’m Jay and I’m 35 and I’ve been on the lesbian scene for about 5 yrs. I can’t say I’ve been actively in the lesbian world but I’ve been out and about. I have an MBA and have worked in the advertising industry for 12 yrs and love the good, bad and ugly of advertising. I’ve dated men in my past but I’ve known I’ve been a lesbian since first grade…well at the time “I liked girls”.  I’ve been dating women for about 7 yrs now. The last relationship I was in..hmmm let’s say for now, “It really wasn’t meant to be”. That relationship pushed me to join and then I found my match! It was a blessing to find someone who was on my level and also shared some of my dreams and goals at the same time. Once we started to email each other it was obvious this was worth exploring and here we are!


  1. I applaud you for being true to yourselves and sharing this aspect of your lives with us. I look forward to reading your posts:D

  2. This came at the right time for me. Sometimes being a lesbian feels very lonely. My online name will be Jade and I will allow my partner to come up with her own name. So I will just refer to her as my partner. We also met on a dating site and it changed our lives. After both going through painful relationships we were ready to appreciate and experience falling in love.
    We have built a beautiful life but at times feel like besides each other and a few other lesbian couples we don't have much to relate to.
    The thing I would like to share is I am idealist who tends to look at the world and society with unwavering faith of what could be and not what it is. I am constantly feeling knock down because I believe people are ultimately good but feeling rejected by people who are homophobic hurts. I ask myself why can't I express my love without people wanting to hide it or not acknowledge that part of me at all? I am working on loving those who disagree with me with unconditional love but I fall very short of that desire. I am becoming braver and no longer allow others to hide my truth. Speaking feels very jarring because it has revealed a long journey that I am so afraid will never see progress while I am alive. Hearing "That is just how things are" doesn't seem good enough. After all the greatest people who ever accomplished any civil justice wouldn't accept things to stay the same. As I write this I realize I need to channel my energy in some way to create change. I am speaking very openly about thoughts that fog up my mind and that terrify me. Thank you for this blog!
    On the positive side being true to myself has giving me so much more than I ever thought possible. I am in a relationship that often feels effortless. I feel passion on every level of my relationship and we continue to grow closer as time passes.Sometimes difficult but never boring because we encourage and challenge each other to grow and be better. We have something so special and I think it is our reward for choosing to live our truth, I look forward to reading other people's journeys.Thank you for letting me share it felt very therapeutic.

  3. Jade, thanks for responding. I have to say I know how you feel and it hurts at times to the "That's is just how things are" comment. I spoke with Ari about this today and it reminds me of the "Don't Ask Don't Tell" law that gays/lesbians in the military had to follow. It hurts when you can't be expressive with the one you love or you have to justify who you are to some when you disclose your personal life. It can be frustrating because I don't judge anyone and would always look for that in return but it just never seems to be the case. I am very happy to hear that you've moved on from a painful relationship to the great experience of love. I can truly relate. I've found the one and am enjoying all our experiences have to offer. Great feedback Jade! Thanks