Monday, January 24, 2011

Use All Your Crayons!


Tonight, RuPaul touched me just a little bit.  No, he didn't reach thru the screen and actually feel my ample bosom, but he did touch my heart! I'm sorry I can't repeat him word-for-word, but the show's crew was discussing tonight's episode of REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA.  Specifically, the question was "What does RuPaul think of the boys who half-drag?" Half-drag being when guys wear women's clothes, accessories, shoes and makeup, but they wear their hair and faces as boys and are proud of their modified-manhood.  RuPaul said (paraphrasing) 'I love it!  Not everyone is bold enough to use all the colors in the crayon box and these boys are using them all!"

I thought there was a lesson in that.  So, I'm hoping this week everyone can feel encouraged to use more of their crayons.  If you're an AG and you want to wear cornrows or braids, but can't wear them to work - get them put in for your days off.  If you want to wear men's clothes - girl, put on those big boy jeans and that hot shirt and take some pics of yourself at home.  If you're a femme and you've always wanted to know what it feels like to wear a strap-on, girl, go to the sex shop and get yourself a cute little pink toy and strap that sucker to your hips!

My point is - you have to find a place to color; even if it's just your own bedroom.  Always try to find a little place for yourself where you can be you .  We all don't have jobs and lives that allow for us to show our tattoos or braids or maybe our cross-dressing looks, but there should always be a little place in our lives where we can be ourselves however that plays out.  If you haven't found it yet - look for it, because it exists!



  1. Wow that was interesting. I was out today and I saw a petite woman with a very short hair cut. She was rocking it! I am always impressed with women who boldly wear short hair cuts or masculine clothes. Some people find it gross but personally find it attractive because they are being themselves and often are allowing the world know they are lesbian just by their appearance.
    But since there is a huge spectrum from the very femme to the very butch and everything in between it is not that easy to tell most of the time. Everyone always assumes I am straight and that can feel frustrating. Again I am idealist but I am hoping in the future sexuality will be so accepted that no one assumes anything. Everyone will be given the benefit of a doubt either way. I imagine people will ask more open ended questions like " Are you in a relationship?" instead of "Do you have a boyfriend?" And if you they ask if you are married they won't assume it automatically it is to someone of the opposite sex. What will really be a trip is how people in the future will probably says parents or caregivers and not assume everyone has a mom and a dad. Already I have seen so many things change for the better and believe so many more blessings are going to happen in our lifetime.

  2. And I love your comments, Jade - as usual! Jay walks the line between femme and aggressive. I know it's hard for her some times because she feels like she has to choose - but I always encourage her to just "do her" because she doesn't have to choose for anyone. it's one of the reasons I'm so glad we're together - because I'm open to her being whoever she wants to be, however that means expressing it. sometimes, she is my sexy hot mama - and other times, she is my big daddy! i love having both. it keeps things interesting for me.

    jay and i were also just talking about pleasing family - that can limit your crayon use and coloring too! i'm out to my family, but i am a femme, so nothing has changed about how i look to them physically, but of course, they treat me differently because i "look" different to them psychologically. jay is not out to her family - and it's hard for her to think about coming out to them because of how they will see her. that's sad to me because it just shouldn't matter.

    i too am hoping to marry soon - jay or course - and have children. i don't want people to mom and dad my kids to death. but hey, i was born to a married mom and dad but i didn't have either by the time i was 13 and i hated that. i guess my point is, people need to NOT assume family structure for so many reasons including homosexuality, but not excluding the fact that you were born to a heterosexual couple.

    i probably "my girlfriend" people to death because i am so OUT and i hate the term "partner" - we are not just "sexual partners" nor do we have a business. that's the connotation i get with parnter - no offense to people who like or don't mind the term. it's just not my cup of tea. i suppose once we are married, i don't know WHAT i will call jay. i wish terms were wider than husband and wife because she's not a traditional "wife" - she's more of a hybrid of a husband and a wife but more husband than anything. we joked about "wusband" but that sounds dumb. they need to just invent a spectrum like femme, aggressive, femme-aggressive, butch, etc. hopefully the times will catch up with the need. and right now my "need" is for broader single word terms for my gf because the ones we have don't cut it. i'll call her my honey for now, 'cause she sho' is sweet!