Tell Us How You're Spending the Night With Your Special Lady...

Jay and I are watching lots of TV and cuddling.  We're at my mom's so...tomorrow is Valentine's Day for us, and since it is our 1st together, I'm sure we will be making history :)

Tell us what you're doing for Valentine's Day.  We are nooooozy!

When I Want Your Opinion About Me, I'll GIVE It TO You!!!

Since I've come out - a lot of people feel it's cool to give me personal feedback on the "choice" that I've made to go lezzy.  I'm talking religious counseling, personal attacks, personal opinions, stats on bashings and terrible things that have happened to gay people, etc.  The nicest spectrum has been more like sheepish and tacit acceptance just so my feelings are protected - something like, 'Because I love you, I will accept it but I'm scared for you and you'll have a hard way to go'; 'don't expect others to be as accepting as I.' 

I have been very fortunate to have a few good friends who were already out and just said something to the effect of, 'cool...how's the weather in NY?' And of course I have a loving GF in Jay.

I want to take issue with people's feelings that there needs to be a reaction at all.  No one ever says, "Oh my God, you're straight - congrats, life will be so easy for you..." Well, perhaps some gay parents who've walked the tough road have said that to others, but it's not generally something one hears for being "NORMAL."  Ok, I must curse, though I am trying to cut back.  What the fuck is normal?  Who determines it?  Don't give me the religilous bullshit here.  The Bible was written and rewritten to suit rich bastards who wanted to marry as many times as it suited them, beat their wives, justify rape AND slavery, etc.  Yes, I'm a Christian and I do NOT generally pick and choose which parts of the good book with which to agree - but I gotta put it out there that the "Good Book" was only made better over the years for people who could afford to make it so.

That said - if God doesn't like my lifestyle, he can tell me on Judgment Day.  All the rest of my family, friends, everyone else who wants to weigh in - WHEN I WANT YOUR OPINION ABOUT MY SEXUALITY I WILL GIVE IT TO YOU!

Tonight I was treated to a tirade about my need to hit my knees and pray about my sinful gayness from my freeloading, alcoholic, philandering uncle - followed immediately by the dinner blessing.  Needless to say, this PISSED me off to no end.  I'm sick of hearing about how people feel about me, how they are concerned for my safety and how I should think twice about this lifestyle "choice".  I've thought about it a million times.  I've prayed a million more.  All I want to do is live MY life MY way.

If I hurt someone, call me on it.  If I start drinking, develop an eating disorder, get abused, gain 100 lbs, spend recklessly to the point of bankruptcy, suffer at the hands of those who are there to take care of me, etc - step in by all means and help me get it together.  For the record, all of these things have happened to me in one form or another at one time or another and the same advice-givers who "hate on" my "choice" knew about these things but offered NO opinions or suggestions. 

So now when I'm in love, being loved, and trying to just get my life on track; decide which side you're on:  you're with me and my kind OR you're against me and my kind and let's just draw the line there.  I hate to take such a strong stance, but I'm imploding from all of the garbage.  Perhaps as I get used to hearing all the nonsense, I'll be able to hear how people feel about my life choices, the love of my life, and the family I'm building as IF they were commenting on my shoes - 'cause honestly, that's about how the opinions get doled out at this point.  But right now, like I've been trying to say thru this entire rant: I'm done hearing what you've got to say for now, keep it!  Decide if my choice is one you can live with silently and act as if I am the same person I was 8 months ago before I came out - OR step off until you can get through it, if you can in fact get through it.

Relax, Relate, Release...and exhale. Valentine's Post tomorrow!

1st Day of Love Month - FIRST MUTUAL LESBIAN LOVE

I think we should make the entire month of February dedicated to "love" and the ones we love.  It doesn't have to be romantic love, although that tends to be where we put most of our "love" focus.  We love our friends, family, significant others, pets, etc.  Let's spend this month talking about all kinds of love related topics. 

An obvious first place to start - first lesbian loves.  My first MUTUAL lesbian love was when I was 25.  It felt good to be true to myself - even if it wasn't fully open or expressed.  It taught me a lot about myself; what I wanted from love and what I didn't. 

Tell us about your first lesbian love...I would have gone in more, but don't forget, I'm writing this with my current gf and old relationship talk can get kinda hairy.

Loving My "Me" - Tell Us About Loving You

i've been going thru some serious changes lately and i've been thinking so much about who i am and who i want to be.  right now, i am in this transition stage of cutting out calling myself "bi" and being ok with saying i'm full-on lezzy and being cool with that.  i've accepted it.  I AM A LESBIAN.  but here's the thing, it's hard not to feel something when i refer to myself as lezzy and people say, "WHAT? I THOUGHT YOU WERE BI?" it's such a huge deal to most of the people close to me for me to redefine my identity. 

YES, most of my open relationships were with men and those relationships lasted a long time.  that's why i thought i was "bi" in the first place.  i thought if i said i was lezzy outright, it would somehow deny or downplay those relationships.  but here's the thing - people evolve, so it should be ok to reclassify yourself whenever YOU want to, no?  well, i'm lezzy now! 

i love saying it.  i love being it.  i love wearing my rainbows and i feel like i'm in this very special, very exclusive club that i've always wanted to be in.  whenever i met open lesbians in the past, i thought - "Wow, she's a lesbian," like i was meeting royalty or something.

well, i'm still going through some other things and yeah, i'm in the middle (hopefully at the end) of a very rough patch, but at least this one huge chunk of my life is set.  and it's a very important part of my life at that.  i think identifying, living IN and loving my sexuality is a huge step toward my healing right now.  i'm happy with that for now - because it gives me a natural endorphin high, that high that can't be replicated or imitated.  and my smile is so big.  i thank my jay for helping me with that.

now, tell me how you love your you - or tell me what's in the way of you falling in love with yourself...

RuPaul's Drag Race 3 - TONIGHT

3 hours of RuPaul tonight - the casting special, the show and Untucked!
http://www.logotv.com/

Tomorrow - full review, please be sure to chime in. 

Can't wait!!!

Use All Your Crayons!

RuPaul on BRAVO'S WATCH WHAT HAPPENS

Tonight, RuPaul touched me just a little bit.  No, he didn't reach thru the screen and actually feel my ample bosom, but he did touch my heart! I'm sorry I can't repeat him word-for-word, but the show's crew was discussing tonight's episode of REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA.  Specifically, the question was "What does RuPaul think of the boys who half-drag?" Half-drag being when guys wear women's clothes, accessories, shoes and makeup, but they wear their hair and faces as boys and are proud of their modified-manhood.  RuPaul said (paraphrasing) 'I love it!  Not everyone is bold enough to use all the colors in the crayon box and these boys are using them all!"

I thought there was a lesson in that.  So, I'm hoping this week everyone can feel encouraged to use more of their crayons.  If you're an AG and you want to wear cornrows or braids, but can't wear them to work - get them put in for your days off.  If you want to wear men's clothes - girl, put on those big boy jeans and that hot shirt and take some pics of yourself at home.  If you're a femme and you've always wanted to know what it feels like to wear a strap-on, girl, go to the sex shop and get yourself a cute little pink toy and strap that sucker to your hips!

My point is - you have to find a place to color; even if it's just your own bedroom.  Always try to find a little place for yourself where you can be you .  We all don't have jobs and lives that allow for us to show our tattoos or braids or maybe our cross-dressing looks, but there should always be a little place in our lives where we can be ourselves however that plays out.  If you haven't found it yet - look for it, because it exists!

WATCH RUPAUL'S DRAG RACE 3 MONDAYS @ 9 ON LOGO
MONDAY, 1/24 THE ACTION STARTS AT 9 AND DOESN'T END UNTIL MIDNIGHT!!!

You Still Need Condoms!

DISCLAIMER: Jay hates that I'm writing this post so early in our blog's history. She's got some very valid opinions about how mainstream media think that being gay is only about sex and therefore we should limit our sexual topics. While agree with her for the most part, I also think that sex is a very important part of any healthy adult's life - and therefore, we should mix things up. Keep things serious when we need to, but take the opportunity to do a little educating whenever possible. And that's the point of today's post - sexual education for the lesbian!

On with the blog...

So now that you're a member of the Hoo-Hoo Sisterhood, you think you can go to the club tonight without any "protection" - WRONG! Get your condoms, your dental dams or your saran wrap, pack your purse and make it happen!

Ok, before I get too detailed let me assure you that this is not a sex site. We WILL talk about sexual issues as they relate to the lesbian community and it's way important that we keep it real. Hell, this information is out there - and we are all grown women, so you gotta swallow that American prudish nature and deal with the truth. Dildos, condoms and dental dams, oh, my! Alright, I couldn't help myself, I had to write that - but seriously...dildos, condoms and dental dams need to be in the lesbian woman's closet like toilet paper. They are that much of a necessity.

Disease and nastiness runs through our circles just like they do the hetero-world. When you go over to that chicks house to play, and she (or you) strap on, just remember to strap up too! She might tell you it just came out of the box, or that she washed it, but would you wear someone else's unwashed underwear? Well, that's basically what you're doing if you let her use a toy on you sans condom. And just so she can't run that okie-doke on you, "Baby, I told you it's new. I haven't been with anyone in so long. I don't buy condoms..." - you need to have a Magnum on hand. Whoops, did I say, Magnum? That's what we need on this side of town, you might do well with any of your favorite brand of condoms. And unlike being with one of those barbaric men who want to ram their unsheathed penises inside or you, she can't complain, "It doesn't feel the same." She should have no objections at all, actually. And if you're anything like me, the latex and silicone mix can be a little brutal on your vagina because some of those bad boys (dildos) shed. So now we're talking health benefits beyond STI's, we're also talking about just plain vaginal health, and that's important too.

Dental dams - not everyone has seen one. Go to the sex shop and pick up a pack and get comfy. They are like rubbery-non ripping fruit roll ups. They come in a variety of flavors and sizes and they can add a yummy and FRAGRANT twist to your downtown experience. When you're monogamous and live with your partner like Jay and me, they can just add a little flavor to the evening - literally. You can even enhance the experience a little further by slathering up your partner with flavored lube, top the lube with dental dam and then lube up your side so you can have a tasty treat as well. The effect is magnificent. She feels like she's really getting your bare tongue because of the wetness of the lube against the dam - and your tongue is rubbing and undulating against the other side, giving her vajayjay the massage of a lifetime. For you, you get the taste of your choice of flavors, the feel of warmth against the dam and the sounds and squirms of her immense pleasure!

Every once in a while, we will need to get our hands (and eyes) a little dirty in this blog. Being gay is NOT all about sex, but hell, we have sex lives and as a blog community, we have to look out for our sisters in the bedroom. So often, we talk to our hetero sisters about safe sex and we tell them all the dirt on how to keep themselves safe without remembering to look out for ourselves.

Just remember - strap on / strap up. When you're go down, fill the dam, don't break it!